Look, we don't know anything about World Cup bids. They probably have a lot to do with "infrastructure" and "taking turns" and stuff like that. But really, world? You couldn't pick Japan just this once? Japan's incredibly great 2022 World Cup bid involved projecting 3D holograms of the games live onto soccer football fields around the world, allowing folks that can't make it to Japan for the actual games to get a pretty great simulacrum, while standing next to people that look like them and are probably rooting for the same team. "I have to admit that the idea of this blows my mind away," said Japan's committee chief Kohzo Tashima. Did you get that, world? Japan was offering you 3D holographic full field broadcasts, and you just turned a cold shoulder. Congrats, Qatar, we hope you're happy with 2022, and we're sure you earned it based on whatever arbitrary metrics FIFA uses to select World Cup countries. But you'll never earn our hearts.
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